Yesterday, I
woke up at 5 a.m. and drank a cup of instant coffee. Then I read the headlines
on my smartphone while taking a nasty dump. President Yoon thinks that Korea is
paying foreign workers too much money. He says that these high wages are
hurting local business owners, especially restaurants. So he wants to reduce
their income to approximately $800 dollars a month. Yoon claims that this is
fair because most of them are from shithole countries which are mired in
poverty. Therefore, 200 bucks a week is nothing to sneeze at. The guy’s all
heart, isn’t he?
I switched
on Fox News to get the latest about the situation in Israel. The IDF is now
hitting the Philistines with a full-out ground assault. The carnage is tough to
look upon. Yet a nation which isn’t allowed to defend itself isn’t really a
nation at all. I’m just concerned that this regional conflict will turn into a
world war. I keep hearing the usual neocon assholes stating that the next step
is an attack on Iran. This would probably bring China and Russia and Turkey into
the conflict. But if God wants to usher in the apocalypse, then who’s going to
stop Him? I have this eerie feeling that history has already been written and
that the human race is just a bunch of pawns in a larger spiritual battle.
I called my
mother using Facebook Messenger.
I said, “My
fucking vacuum cleaner is on its last legs.”
“What
happened?”
“The hose
fell out.”
She took a
sip of Coke and shoved some meat into her mouth. “Can’t you simply put it back
in?”
I nodded. “I
did. But I’ll probably have to purchase some duct tape to do the job correctly.”
She smiled
at me warmly. “Thank the Lord for duct tape. It’s the stuff of miracles.”
“First my
glasses. And now this.”
“Don’t get
your panties in a bunch. Things break all the time.”
I sighed
heavily. “I know, but I’m just a little down today. I don’t get my new specs
until next week, so I’m forced to view the world through scratched lenses. And it’s
driving me right up the wall. Plus my vision is for the birds. I’m at a minus
six, and if I drop down to a minus ten, Korea will consider me legally blind. I
won’t be allowed to drive at night.”
“Big fucking
deal. You don’t even own a car.”
I shrugged
my shoulders. “True. Very true. However, it would wonderful to have a set of
peepers that functions properly.”
I caught the
bus and made it to school by 7:30 a.m. My day at work went well. I’m still
reading The Bells with my high schoolers.
I said, “Isn’t
this a fabulous poem?”
One of the boys
sneered at me. “I hate Poe. He’s such a filthy dog. What kind of a man marries
his thirteen-year-old cousin?”
“Well, you
are judging his actions through a 21st-century lens.”
“Don’t give
me that crap. I’m not afraid to call a spade a spade. He was a drunken
incestuous pig who liked to fiddle with little girls.”
“That might
be true. But he was still a great poet.”
I got home later
that evening at 6 p.m. I ate a quick dinner and went to my room to watch porno.
I enjoyed a couple of films featuring a naughty woman named Crystal Breeze. I
really had a good time.
Poe and Crystal Breeze, both big fans of teh butt secks.
ReplyDeleteCheers.
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