Sick Day

 

(I was too ill to go to work.)

Yesterday, I woke up at 5 a.m. and enjoyed a cup of instant coffee. Then I read the headlines on my smartphone while taking a huge dump. Koreans aren’t huge fans of the Japanese because of past atrocities. They’ve even gone so far as boycotting all goods produced in the Land of the Morning Sun as recently as 2019. However, beer from Japan has gained a huge amount of popularity this past year. Koreans are drinking the stuff like it’s going out of style.

I called my mother using Facebook Messenger.

She said, “How are you feeling?”

I shook my head. “Not very good.” I suddenly launched into a coughing fit. “Ugh! Ugh! Ugh! Ugh! Ugh! Ugh! Ugh!”

“God, you sound terrible. Maybe it’s time to see a doctor.”

“There’s nothing a hospital can do for me. It’s simply a matter of time.”

“At least call in sick.”

“You’re probably right. That’s what I’ll do.”

She changed the subject. “Are you coming back home to live?”

I shrugged. “I’m not sure. I’m in my 50s, and a career at the Waffle House is actually tempting. I need something in my life that isn’t too complicated. But I fear that my boys will no longer respect me.”

“That’s nonsense. Why wouldn’t they respect you?”

“C’mon, Mom. I’d be a waitress living off the tips. But don’t get me wrong. I’d enjoy every minute of it. Slinging hash. Getting on food stamps and Medicaid. Free lunches at school for Rice-Boy Larry. What’s not to love?”

“Well, I’m not going to pressure you. You’re a grown man.”

I cooked breakfast for Larry. I prepared bacon and rice cake. He wolfed the vittles down in no time flat. He also drank a bottle of fizzy water which had been left behind by the Dragon Lady. Sadly, we have too much fizzy water polluting our shelves. So we’ve both agreed to consume the disagreeable liquid on a daily basis. We don’t want it to go to waste.

I said, “I’m too sick to go to work today.”

He said, “Are you taking a day off?”

I nodded. “I’m afraid I have no choice. But I should be right as rain come tomorrow.”

“It’s probably a good choice. We all need a sick day every once in a while.”

I changed the subject. “Are you following the doctor’s orders? Are you taking your medication every day?”

“Sometimes, I forget.”

“That’s right. You do forget. I counted how many doses you have left. According to my calculations, you’ve missed four days.” I paused for dramatic effect. “It kind of pisses me off. You have to be more responsible in the future.”

“Sorry.”

“From now on, I’m going to be your nurse. You’ll take the pills in front of me.”

He sighed heavily. “Isn’t that a little bit silly?”

“Not in my book. Your appearance is ninety percent better these days. And if we travel to America, your doctor visits and overall access to healthcare will dwindle significantly. So let’s take care of the problem here on the peninsula.”

“Fair enough.”

I spent the rest of the day watching Netflix while resting on the sofa. I finished Peaky Blinders, and now I’m viewing a German show called Dark. I can’t say that I’m having a good time with this new program. The problem with Dark is that it’s a little bit too dark.

(Did you like this post? Then read my novel for free. Click here.) 

(Give my message board a try.)