Wash, Rinse, Repeat

(Life keeps on flowing.)

Yesterday, I got home at six p.m. and changed my clothes. Then I went outside an burned a Marlboro while drinking a Coke. You're not allowed to smoke in my apartment building. Those who get caught are crucified in the public square.

After that, I walked across the street and bought some donuts. I always eat pastries for breakfast these days because I don't have a lot of time to cook for myself in the morning.

Rice-Boy Larry called me on my smartphone. "I won't be home until late."

I said, "Why?"

"I'm having dinner with my friends."

"Do you need any money?"

"No. I got a few bucks in my wallet."

"OK. See you when I see you."

Later, I drank a beer and vacuumed my floors. Then I cleaned the windows with Windex and a towel. It's not as easy as it sounds. The sliding glass doors are now filled with visible streaks. I'm not sure how to fix this. Perhaps I should look it up on YouTube.

I began cooking for myself. I threw six pieces of bacon into a pan and placed three French-bread biscuits into the air-fryer. The grease kept crackling and jumping all over the place. Most of the slop landed right on the walls of the kitchen.

I sighed heavily. "Great. More shit to do."

Rice-Boy Larry suddenly appeared.

I said, "What the hell are you doing home so early?"

"What do you mean? It's already 7 p.m."

"I didn't make you any supper."

"That's OK. I had comja-tong with my buddies."

"Do you want my bacon?"

"No, I'm full."

Comja-tong is a Korean word which means pig soup with potatoes. It's actually very good. A big bowl will cost you about seven dollars. Lots of old men are crazy about the stuff. They slurp the broth while sucking down their soju.

I finally got a chance to sit down at 8 p.m. I put my feet up on the coffee table and began watching a show on Netflix called Marianne. It's a French drama about an evil witch who enjoys tormenting innocent people. I love this program with a passion. I've seen it many times. I'm just a little disappointed that Netflix canceled the series after one season. I have no idea how Marianne didn't catch on with the public. It's very good. Perhaps it's just too scary. It'll definitely put a knot in your ass.

I walked to my bedroom at 10 p.m. I briefly thought about viewing dirty movies over the internet, but I quickly changed my mind. Now that I've been touched by the spirit of God, I've decided to forego pornography for the remainder of my existence. The Lord will tolerate the occasional cigarette and beer. But I'm sure that He frowns on me treating the ladies like they're sex objects for my amusement. So from here on out, I'll have to use the power of my imagination to get my jollies.

I fell asleep at 11 p.m. and dreamt that I was trapped in a van with a serial killer. I kept asking him to untie me, but his only reply was a malignant smile. His expression chilled the blood in my veins.

I finally woke up at 5 a.m. It was time to start all over again. Wash, rinse, repeat.

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