Thursday, August 31, 2023

Oasis

 

(Sometimes, we all need shelter from the storm.)

Yesterday, I got home at 6 p.m. and had a smoke. Then I briefly thought about scrubbing the sliding glass doors which lead to my veranda. They’re covered with unsightly fingerprints. But I just didn’t have the energy. So I sat on the sofa and watched Fox News instead. The entire broadcast revolved around the hurricane which just slammed Florida. A couple people died who were driving their cars during the storm.

Rice-Boy Larry stepped into the living room. “I’m going outside to play basketball.”

“Who are you meeting?”

“Nobody.”

“You’re playing by yourself?”

He nodded. “That’s right. I need the exercise. Plus I don’t have any homework tonight.”

I shrugged. “OK. Sounds good to me.”

He paused for a second. “Do you think that medicine is doing anything for my acne?”

“Yes. You’re actually starting to look a little bit better.”

Rice-Boy has only been taking the pills for a few days, so his skin is pretty much the same. But a little white lie never hurt anybody. He certainly doesn’t resemble a young Brad Pitt. Yet he isn’t the elephant man, either.

I switched on Netflix and began viewing another episode of Peaky Blinders. I have to tell you assholes something. Sam Neil is a hell of an actor. He’s one of those Hollywood stalwarts who has appeared in everything under the sun but never gets the praise he deserves. In this show, he’s a real son of a bitch who is hunting downs communists and gangsters.

I called Larry at 8:30 p.m. “Where the hell are you?”

“I’m still playing ball.”

“Well, it’s time to come home.”

“Why?”

“It’s dark outside.”

He got back to the apartment ten minutes later covered in sweat. My boy isn’t much of an athlete, but I don’t hold it against him. I suck at sports, too.

At 9 p.m., I walked to my bedroom and had a wank before falling asleep. I no longer rely on porn to get my jollies, so playing with myself isn’t the joy that it used to be. Yet that’s OK. I don’t want to help fuel the smut industry with my lust.

The alarm sounded at 5 a.m., and I took a wicked piss. Then I walked outside to enjoy a Marlboro before having a shit and a shower. After that, I cooked up six strips of bacon in a frying pan. I also fried some rice cake.

“Get up, Larry! Breakfast is served.”

He climbed out of bed and ate the vittles without saying a word. My son isn’t a morning person.

At 6:30 a.m., it was time to catch the bus. Most of the bus drivers in Korea are a bunch of surly assholes. But today’s guy was actually very friendly. He gave me a warm greeting while flashing me a smile.

I got to work at 7 a.m. and called my mother using Facebook Messenger.

I said, “Are you feeling any better?”

She frowned. “I’m still sick.”

“What’s bothering you?”

“Nothing. I’m just not myself.”

“Are you sure you’re OK? You look like somebody took a whizz in your cornflakes.”

She let out a heavy sigh. “It’s that fucking stepbrother of yours. He came to my house and clogged all the goddamn sinks with his funky food.”

“Did you call a plumber?”

“No need for that. I managed to fix the problem myself with Drano.”

“Well, that’s good.”

“God forgive me, Jack. But I wish he’d go the fuck home.”

My day at work went well. The kids were pleasant. I enjoy my job a great deal. It’s my oasis in a storm.

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