No Car, No Problem

(Public transportation is OK by me.)

Yesterday, I got home at 6 p.m. and did a load of laundry. Then I cooked fried rice for dinner. The meal came with eggs and curry sauce. I sucked down a tall boy as I chomped on my vittles. Overall, the food was pretty good.

I knocked on Rice-Boy Larry's door. 

He said, "What?"

I said, "I need you to order supplies over the internet."

"What kind of supplies?"

"We require bottled water and toilet paper."

So he started typing away on his computer and found me some good deals. I bought 120 bottles for twenty-five dollars. They will be delivered to my doorstep on Saturday. I also purchased 60 rolls of toilet paper for a mere thirteen bucks. They're coming on Wednesday. The company I use is called Coupang. It is famous throughout the peninsula.

I said, "Tomorrow is Friday."

"So?"

"We visit the chicken house on Fridays. It's our new ritual."

"I'm going to have to skip out on you. I'm meeting my friends."

"When will you be home?"

"Not until 9 p.m."

I shrugged. "Well, the chicken house closes at midnight, so it's no big deal."

"Can you wait that long to eat?"

I nodded. "I'll have to because Friday is chicken night."

Now that the Dragon Lady is gone, I'm quite intoxicated with a sense of freedom. But I certainly don't want to go out all by my lonesome. What's the fun in that, right? Therefore, Larry is stuck being my sidekick. Yet I don't feel sorry for the boy. There are worse things in the world than slapping on the feedbag with your old man. At least he wasn't born in Djibouti.

I sat on the sofa and watched two episodes of Marianne. They both scared the living crap out of me. Marianne is a real cunt of a witch. She makes the green woman in The Wizard of Oz seem like a nice elderly lady. Trust me. Those flying monkey ain't shit.

I finally fell asleep at 10 p.m. But I had to keep getting up during the night to take a piss. Then the alarm sounded at 5 a.m., so I walked to the kitchen and ate two jelly donuts before going for a smoke. After that, I read the headlines on my smartphone while taking a huge satisfying dump. 

A woman from Incheon with a low IQ recently had a baby. However, being a mother was just too much for her to handle. She kept dropping the child on the floor every time the kid began to scream. This resulted in a skull fracture that eventually killed the poor thing. For her crime, she was sentenced to ten years in prison.

I called my mom using Facebook Messenger. 

She said, "Ken starts work tomorrow."

I said, "What time does he go in?"

"That's the thing. The manager hasn't told him yet."

"The guy's probably busy. It's not easy running a fast-food restaurant."

"I hope he tells him today."

"I'm sure he will. But I have no idea why Ken didn't go for the gas-station job. It seems so much better than a gig at Chick-fil-A."

"There's no point in talking to your son. He has a mind of his own, and he's a stubborn son of a bitch."

Later that morning, I caught the bus to work. I really enjoy not having a car. It makes life so much easier.

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