The Dermatologist

(South Korea has a great healthcare system.)

Today, I woke up at 8 a.m. and walked to a nearby 7-11 for a cup of coffee. Then I sucked down my beverage while puffing on a Marlboro Red. It was a beautiful experience. Lately, I've been smoking about five cigarettes a day. After that, I called my mother using Facebook Messenger. I was sitting outside on a plastic picnic table as we spoke. 

She said, "Do you miss your wife?"

I shook my head and smiled. "Are you fucking crazy? The peace is marvelous."

"I'm just afraid that she's going to return."

"I won't let her return unless the judge forces me to do so. But I don't think it will come to that. She's probably gone for good."

Mom took a sip of her morning tea. "Is she at her father's house?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "I'm not really sure if you want to know the truth. Rice-Boy Larry says that she's staying with a friend."

"If the judge makes you take her back, then you must return to Texas. You've got to escape her evil clutches."

I laughed out loud. "Try not to get too dramatic."

She frowned. "I'm not kidding, son. That woman is so crazy that she might actually murder you. She's got nothing to lose."

"But I don't want to end up as a waffle boy, serving bacon and hash browns to the country bumpkins."

"Better to be a living waffle boy than a dead teacher."

I walked back to my apartment and enjoyed a piece of nicotine gum. Then I surfed the internet for the latest headlines. An elementary teacher from Seoul committed suicide at her school before the start of morning classes. She had been bullied for several months by one of her student's parents. The kid had gotten in trouble for being a bully, and Mom and Dad poured out their wrath on the child's instructor. 

The field of education isn't the easiest career path in the world. I can't tell you how many assholes I've met over the years. You really have to grow a set of brass balls to make it work, or you will spend the rest of your life being tortured by angry psychopaths. I shit you not.

I looked at Rice-Boy Larry. "I'm going to take you to the dermatologist today."

"Why? My skin isn't that bad."

I pointed at him with my index finger. "I want you to always put your best face forward. Trust me. Looks fucking matter in this world. You should have seen me when I was a kid. I was the ugliest freak in town, and it was impossible to find a girl friend."

"But you're doing OK now."

"Really? Do you think so?"

One of the best things about Seoul is that there are little clinics and hospitals on every street corner. We took the bus and got to our destination in under ten minutes. We were seen by the doctor almost immediately. He spoke to Larry in Korean and smiled at me. I had no idea what the fuck he was saying.

I tapped Rice-Boy on the arm. "What's the news?"

"He says that my acne is mild, so he's not going to give me any powerful medication. Instead, he prescribed some lotions that should help me out."

"Sounds good."

The visit came to less than five dollars, and the medicine was thirteen bucks. Korea has a fantastic healthcare system. It's rated as one of the best in the world.

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