Sunday, July 2, 2023

Divorcing a Pagan

 

(The Apostle Paul says that divorce is OK in certain cases.)

Yesterday, I woke up at 8 a.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the headlines on my smartphone while taking a nasty shit. In 2015, a woman in her 40s from the city of Gwacheon gave birth to a baby with Downs Syndrome. Anyway, the police recently knocked on her door to inquire about the well-being of the kid. She told them that he had died years ago and was now buried in the family plot. In response, the cops arrested her on suspicion of murder and unlawful disposal of a corpse.  But the district attorney instructed Big Brother to release the suspect due to lack of evidence. There’s a ton of child abuse here on the peninsula. It’s a national epidemic. Mom and dad want perfect offspring, and misfits are often subjected to hateful behavior.

I ate hash browns for breakfast as I surfed the internet. Paris is currently on fire. The Muslim community went nuts after a teenager named Nahel was shot and killed by the local authorities because of a traffic violation. Protestors are now burning everything in sight. Consequently, President Macron has decided to flood the streets with 45,000 soldiers to establish law and order. For some reason, members of the Islamic community have a hard time assimilating in Europe. Yet they seem to do pretty well in America. It’s a mystery to me.

I looked at the Dragon Lady. “Would you like a cup of Joe?”

Silence.

I repeated myself. “It would be no problem. A hot cup of java might cheer you up a bit.”

More silence.

I muttered this word under my breath: “Asshole.”

“What you say to me?”

“I called you an asshole.”

“I not da asshoe. You da asshoe.”

I smiled at her. “That’s where you’re wrong. You are an asshole. In fact, you might be the biggest asshole in the entire fucking universe.”

Tears of anger started rolling down her cheeks. “Why you say dat to me? I cwean you dawty unda-wear. I cook you food. I wash you pant and shawts. Why I da asshoe?”

“The silent treatment is abuse.”

“But I not want to tawk to you. You da fucken idiot. Dat why you have no fliend.”

I wagged my finger in her face. “I’m not a fucking idiot. You’re a fucking idiot.”

She wiped her face with some tissue. “It not mattah. Soon, we not togethah.”

“I leave it in your hands. You’re free to do as you wish.”

Divorce isn’t an easy issue for me. It’s very important to keep things biblical. Jesus says you can leave your wife if she cheats on you. Yet the Dragon Lady has never had a boyfriend on the side. Sex simply isn’t a motivating factor in her life. However, Paul says that you can let your spouse depart on their own accord if they happen to be a pagan. He also states that Christians deserve a peaceful house. In other words, I’m not allowed to kick the Dragon Lady out of my life. But if she decides to hit the road by her own free will, then I’m not obligated to try and stop her. Yippee. 

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5 comments:

  1. to keep the marraige fires alight, most people get a sexdoll for they're 20th anniversary. maybe one that has multiple protruberences and orafaces, and you wear video goggles so it seems like you are sexting with kpop stars or whatever it is your favorite, maybe cher or duo lippa.

    meantime your ladyfriend can be enjoying an experience with her ideal, it could be ronald ragan or possibly pope francis, its really up to her.

    the result is a profound sense of intimacy and appreciation for life and love and wonder.

    also you could buy one on valantine's day if that is more convenient.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Damn this is so sad to read. Just leave, get your ass back to Texas. Been with the Mrs. for over 30 years now, still can't keep our hands off each other, still my best friend. There is another world out there.
    Lose the defeatist attitude, only you can do it, but change your world. Create a plan and execute it today!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There are lots of i's to dot and t's to cross. I want to do this on the up and up.

      Delete
  3. Get out of Dodge like 90 goin' north.

    ReplyDelete