Last night, I had a vivid dream. I was with my boys, and we were camping in a pine forest next to the walls of a wooden castle. The building was constructed of rough-hewn logs, and my kids were young again. They looked about eight or nine years old. Suddenly, a rider on horseback came galloping toward us. He was dressed in a white flowing robe and was sporting a bishop's hat upon his head that was shaped like a hexagon. His skin was very pale, and his lips were bright red.
The man gazed at me with disdain. "I'm going to kill you and your children."
After getting that off his chest, he rode away in a cloud of dust.
My eyes suddenly popped open, and my heart began to race a mile a minute. I sat up in bed and peered through the darkness in the bedroom looking for the killer. Nothing. Not a thing. So I walked to the bathroom and took a wicked piss before going back to sleep again.
The alarm sounded at 6 a.m., and I drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the headlines on my smartphone while taking a nasty shit. In 2017, a woman from the city of Mokpo gave birth to a baby boy. Two days later, she took the child into the woods and buried him alive on the side of a mountain. She claims that the pressure of single motherhood was too much for her to bear. She has now been charged with murder by the powers that be.
I called my mother using Facebook Messenger.
She said, "Ken's still in Colorado."
I said, "How's he doing?"
She shrugged. "OK, I guess. He sent me a picture."
"A picture of what?"
"A sandwich that he ate for lunch."
"A sandwich? That's kind of weird."
"I don't know. It seems normal to me. He's wants us to know that he's eating well."
"I'd give him a call, but he never answers."
Mom frowned at me. "He thinks that you might be disappointed because he doesn't want to be a nurse anymore."
"Why would I be disappointed? I don't want to be a nurse, either."
She changed the subject. "Your sister found a new job."
"I didn't even know she was looking."
"She'll be teaching at a school that is closer to her house. She won't have to spend two hours in a car every day."
"Sounds good."
"She's very happy. And her new boss is originally from Korea."
"Oh shit."
Mom shook her head. "No. It's not like that. This lady must be one of the good ones. Sis really likes her."
"I'm sure it will be fine. Not all Koreans are nuts."
Later that morning, I walked to McDonald's for a cup of coffee. That's one of the best things about living in Seoul. You can visit all your favorite haunts on foot. You don't even need a car. McDonald's is by far and away my favorite coffee shop. It's one of the few locations in town where I can purchase hot java at a reasonable price. I'm not cheap, but I simply refuse to get ass raped by places like Starbucks.
I sipped my beverage while chomping on a piece of nicotine gum. I had a great time. It was nice and peaceful.
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you're a dumb ass
ReplyDeleteTrue. Very true.
Deletealot of my dreams revolve around martina navratilova.
ReplyDeletetake last night, for example. we're out on my boat, deep sea fishing. and we get stopped by the coast guard wanting to see my license and registration and personal flotation devices and all that.
turns out one of the coast guardsmen is my niece. she brought her banjo. we play bluegrass music all night.
then I woke up.
That sounds wonderful.
Delete