Same Old Crap, Different Day

(Sometimes, I feel like I'm going round and round.)

Last night, I watched several episodes of Vikings on Netflix. It's one of my favorite shows. I've seen it a million times. I'm on the part where Ivar the Boneless has taken the English city of York, and King Aethelwulf is now trying to wrest it out of his control with the help of Bishop Heahmund. Bishop Heahmund is played by an actor named Jonathan Rhys who got into big trouble years back for becoming drunk at an airport and calling the bartender the N-word. 

I paused the program to clean the filter on my air conditioner. I did it using a damp towel. Then I walked into the kitchen to talk to the Dragon Lady.

I said, "I need your phone."

"Why?"

"I have to reset the unit for it to work properly."

Everything in South Korea is highly technological. Our air conditioner comes with an app which allows us to reboot the damn thing. Trust me. Nothing on the peninsula is easy. If it weren't for Rice-Boy Larry's prowess with computers, I would have jumped out the window a long time ago.

My wife shot me the stink eye. "You just lemebah!"

"Remember what?"

"On Tuesday, we get da divorce."

"Why Tuesday?"

"Because you wowk on Monday."

"I'm not working on Monday."

A malevolent smile passed over her face. "Good! Den we do it Monday."

The process for getting a divorce in Korea starts with visiting the city courthouse and signing a document. Then you have to wait to see a judge, and it can take months. But I have a minor child, so I'll be visited by a social worker before this happens to make sure I'm not a psychopath. I have to prove that I'm worthy of being his guardian--which is going to be difficult since I don't speak the language. How will this person even understand what I'm saying? In other words, it's not the easiest process in the world.

She said, "And I take evelyting. You have no terevision. No intahnet. No air conditionah. Nutting."

I shrugged. "I'll do whatever you say. I'm not your prison guard. You're a free woman."

"Good." She paused for dramatic effect. "Asshoe."

I recently viewed an internet clip by Dr. Phil. He says that it's vital not to quarrel with toxic people. Setting boundaries is more important than trying to reason with them. I've been taking his advice. I'm too old to fight, and conflict never helps. It leads to nothing but circular arguments that will drive you up the wall.

I eventually fell asleep at 11 p.m., and I dreamed that I was back in Beijing. I was at a party with my former co-workers. They were really glad to see me. One of them was dressed up like a woman. He kept singing Dr. Love by the rock group Kiss. We all laughed and applauded his efforts. I felt warm and fuzzy inside. I had a great time.

I opened my eyes at 7 a.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the headlines on my smartphone while taking a nasty shit. The cops on Long Island found a serial killer who had murdered several prostitutes back in the day when he had been younger man. He had even called the families of the deceased females in order to emotionally torture their surviving relatives. It's not easy being a sex worker. They're often the victims of predatory violence. The story left me feeling a little bit depressed.

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