Drugs in Asia

(South Korea is cracking down on narcotics.)

Yesterday, I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the headlines on my smartphone while taking a nasty shit. The police in Incheon arrested eighty-two Thai nationals for smuggling, selling, and possessing a drug called yaba. The first question I had was this: What the fuck is yaba? Well, it’s a combination of meth and caffeine. In fact, yaba seems to be the current rage in Thailand. Anyway, it’ll be quite a while before these poor bastards have the opportunity to eat another pineapple in a tropical paradise. Selling drugs on the peninsula is a horrible idea. Yet there is a never-ending parade of retards who continue to push their luck. Go figure.

I ate hash browns for breakfast as I surfed the internet. A 10-year-old child from upstate New York kept getting bullied by an unruly student with severe behavioral issues. So the victim's mom and dad talked to the principal, but the situation remained as violent as ever. In fact, it got so bad that the kid kept begging his parents to stay at home. They refused, and the poor boy eventually committed suicide. This story doesn’t surprise me. I taught in the American public school system for five years, and let me tell you motherfuckers something. It’s a complete mess. Unruly future criminals are given way too much rope to terrorize the innocent. In fact, expelling a person who is under sixteen is virtually impossible.

I called Nurse Ken using an app called KakaoTalk. It’s the preferred method of communication amongst the Korean community.

I said, “I heard you’re taking the HESI Exam again.”

He nodded. “Only two parts. I need to improve my anatomy and English grammar scores.”

“But a 75 is good enough. So why are you wasting your time?”

“My overall average was above seventy-five when you do the math. But it turns out that I only scored a seventy in anatomy and a seventy-four in English grammar.”

“Shit. Will that hold you back?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know. I’ve never applied for nursing school before.”

I changed the subject. “Have you ever thought about becoming a cop?”

“Not really. But the idea doesn’t sound half bad. At least I would be able to speed without getting a ticket.”

“You have an associate’s degree. That might help to get you on the force. Maybe you could be the next Dirty Harry. You know, a homicide detective.”

He shook his head. “No, becoming a state trooper would be my preference.”

“You should apply and see what they say. The worse they can do is turn you down.”

“I’ll give it some thought.”

My day at work went well. I struck up a brief conversation with one of my former middle-school students. He’s now in the tenth grade. Anyway, this boy applied for a fancy-smancy public school in Seoul last year. It’s one of those places attended by all the brainiacs throughout the metropolitan area. I thought he had a pretty good chance, but they turned down his application.

I pointed at him. “You know, math isn’t respected in Korea.”

He said, “What does that mean?”

“Well, you’re a superstar math hotshot. But Asia is filled with millions of superstar math hotshots. So that’s a tough break for you. Conversely, you’d blow them all away in America. Everybody would be patting you on the back.”

He sighed heavily. “Such is life.”

“That’s true. It’s certainly never fair.”

Later in the afternoon, I watched the game between Denver and Miami. The Nuggets outclassed the Heat and cruised to an easy victory. They now lead the series 2-1. However, I expect Miami to bounce back. I feel they’re a team of destiny and that God wants them to win. But what do I know?

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