Suicide

(Many Koreans decide to end it all.)

Yesterday, I woke up at 7 a.m. and drank a freshly brewed cup of coffee. Then I read the headlines on my smartphone while taking a nasty shit. A 17-year-old girl from Daegu jumped off the roof of a four-story building. The fall wasn’t steep enough to kill her, and she was actually conscious when the ambulance arrived. In fact, she only had a head injury and a broken ankle, and the odds of survival were in her favor. Anyway, the child was taken by the paramedics to four separate hospitals, but they all refused to admit her. Unfortunately, she went into cardiac arrest around four p.m. and died. This story is horrifying, and I certainly hope that it’s an outlier. I’ve always found the medical system in Korea to be topflight.

I ate hash browns for breakfast as I watched Fox News. The big story is still the homeless guy in New York City who was killed on the subway by the Marine vigilante. Libtards like Al Sharpton and Sandy Cortez are calling this tragedy a murder. And don’t get me wrong. I’m not a heartless monster. It’s sad when an untreated schizophrenic meets his untimely end due to a lack of basic healthcare. But what are law-abiding citizens supposed to do? Should we just sit back and let all the kooks wandering the streets kick the crap out of us? Do we not have the right to defend ourselves? Mark my words. Prosecuting this Marine would be a huge mistake.

I called Nurse Ken using the KakaoTalk app. He actually answered his phone this time. You could have knocked me over with a feather.

I said, “You’re a tough man to reach.”

He said, “It’s not on purpose. Sometimes, the ringer doesn’t work.”

“That’s OK. You’re a busy man. I get it.”

“The crap is hitting the fan over here. I take the HESI Exam on May 25^th. I’m really nervous. I have to memorize a shitload of formulas.”

“Stop worrying. You’ll do fine.”

“If I fail, I can take it again in June.”

“But you aren’t going to fail. And even if you do, so what? I certainly won’t think any less of you. Hell, you could even move over here and get a gig at one of the after-school academies teaching English to the rugrats.”

“Christ, that would be a fate worse than death.”

“Worse than death? Seriously?”

“I want the nice things in life. In fact, I’m planning on purchasing my first Mercedes before the age of twenty-eight.”

I nodded. “Good luck, son.”

Nurse Ken is a real Asian go-getter. For that matter, so is Rice-Boy Larry. I have no idea how they became so motivated in life. They certainly didn’t get their energy from me. Simply getting off the sofa is an arduous chore in my feverish mind. But good for them. It’s nice to have dreams.

Later in the day, I watched the game between the Lakers and the Warriors. Los Angeles never showed up. They were completely run-off the court by the time the third quarter rolled around. The squad looked dead in the water.

After that, I viewed a strange film called Black Death. It stars Sean Bean as a knight in the Middle Ages looking for an evil witch. This movie really left a mark on my psyche. It won’t soon be forgotten. Many of the images are quite violent and disturbing. Give it a try if you have some time on your hands. Yet be careful. You might end up suffering from some nasty nightmares.

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