I'm Tired

 

(I desperately need a break.)

Yesterday, I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the headlines on my smartphone while taking a shit. Jeong Myeong-seok is the leader of a strange cult called JMS. He’s currently in prison awaiting his trial for the rape of two foreign women. Well, the prosecutor in the city of Daejon has decided to hit him with another charge of sexual abuse. This time, the victim is a South Korean. For those of you who are unfamiliar with the case, Mr. Jeong is one of those wackos who believes he’s Jesus Christ. Nevertheless, intelligent women tend to fall for his patter, giving up their bodies in the hope of salvation.

I ate hash browns for breakfast as I watched Fox News. Rich libtards are afraid that farm animals such as cattle and pigs are causing climate change. So now they want their poor brothers and sisters to start consuming insects in order to save the planet. And I’m not completely adverse to the notion of a new type of nutrition. After all, I’ve been dieting for the last six months. However, my biggest problem with the idea is that Lady Rotten-crotch from the shire will be munching on Kobe beef while losers like me are forced to dine on cockroaches. It simply doesn’t seem fair.

I called my mother using Facebook Messenger.

I said, “has Nurse ken set up his phony Facebook account yet?”

She said, “I’m not really sure. I never asked him.”

“Did he take you out to dinner for your birthday?”

“Actually, he brought the food home. But it took the restaurant a million years to cook the steaks, so he didn’t return until 9 p.m. I was about ready for bed by the time he walked through the door.”

“Steak sounds great to my ears. Did you eat it, or did you go to sleep instead?”

“Of course I ate it. I’ll never say no to beef.”

I changed the subject. “They arrested that kid who posted the military secrets online.”

She sighed. “He’s only twenty-one, but he’ll never see the light of day again. But I guess he has it coming. He is a traitor, after all.”

“I don’t look at it that way. He’s more of a whistleblower in my mind.”

“Son, you’re filled with bias.  You’ve always hated this country.”

“That’s not true. I love America. Yet we have to keep our guard up if we want our democracy to stay intact.”

Mom smiled at me. “Blah, blah, blah, blah. Sometimes, you make no sense.”

My day at work went OK. I’m currently studying A Sound of Thunder with the middle schoolers. I’ve never been a huge fan of science fiction, but the kids seem to like the bullshit. I always thought that I had more talent than Ray Bradbury, yet I’m probably deluding myself. I read Fahrenheit 451 when I was a teen. It was complete crap.

Later in the afternoon, one of the teachers came to my room. He gave me some disappointing news. He caught Rice-Boy Larry badmouthing the blacks with his friends. They were laughing about the academic performance of the students who attend the public schools in Baltimore.

The teacher said, “He was saying some racist stuff.”

I said, “Did he use the n-word?”

“No, nothing like that. His crime was much more subtle.”

“Did he get a detention?”

“I didn’t see the point. We talked, and I told him to be careful with his language.”

I shook his hand. “I’ll read him the riot act when he gets home tonight.”

But to be honest, I never said a word. I was too tired, and I simply couldn’t be bothered.

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