Yesterday, I woke up at 9 a.m. and drank a cup of freshly
brewed coffee. Then I read the headlines on my smartphone while taking a shit.
There’s a two-year-old zebra named Sero who lives at a zoo in Seoul. Sadly,
both of his parents died, and he took their passing very hard—becoming aggressive and obstinate. He now fights with his kangaroo neighbors and refuses
to sleep in the barn. Anyway, Sero escaped from his pen and began wandering the
streets of the city. He was eventually tranquilized and returned to his home.
I ate hash browns for breakfast as I watched Fox News. A
bunch of tornadoes ripped through Mississippi killing twenty people. When crap
like this happens, I begin questioning the existence of God. But luckily I
remember the words of Jesus Christ. In the gospels, Jesus talks about the
collapse of a synagogue which caused a ton of death and despair. He tells his
disciples that we live in a fallen world and that we never know when our time
is up. Therefore, it’s important to remain spiritually prepared.
I called my mother using Facebook Messenger.
I said, “I’m not voting in 2024, but I’ve decided to root
for Meatball Ron.”
She said, “Who’s Meatball Ron.”
“DeSantis. He hasn’t made it with porno stars, and he doesn’t
appear to be a narcissist. Plus I think he’s smarter than Trump.”
“Donald’s not a narcissist.”
“Of course he is. That’s why he’s always in trouble. Can you
imagine the balls on a guy who tells his vice president to overturn the
election?”
“But Biden didn’t win. There’s no way in hell that he got 81
million votes.”
“I agree. But it goes further than that. Look at that idiot
Michael Flynn. He talked to the FBI without having a lawyer present. Even a
student in elementary school has more sense than that.”
“Well, I’m behind Donald all the way. He’s the best
president in the history of our nation.”
“Don’t get me wrong. I’ll support him if he wins the
nomination. Yet Meatball Ron is my man.”
“Why don’t you vote? All you got to do is send your ballot
in.”
“I can’t be bothered. Everything is difficult when you live
overseas. I simply don’t have the energy.”
Later that morning, the Dragon Lady took Dolly the dog to
the vet. Rice-Boy Larry went with her. We’ve been trying to get Dolly fixed for
the last few weeks, but her enzyme levels have been too high to perform the
surgery.
I said, “I hope they do it this time.”
She said, “I aflaid. Da doctah make me sign da papah saying
dat Dolly might die and he not responsibah.”
“I wouldn’t worry. It’s a normal procedure. He probably
makes everyone sign the same form.”
After they left, I enjoyed some adult entertainment. I don’t
view porn as much as I used to, but I still switch it on every once in a while. It’s
tough to resist. Beautiful naked ladies are only a click away.
My wife returned in the afternoon. Dolly was in rough shape.
She kept walking in circles and crying like a baby. Plus she has to wear one of
those silly cones around her head for the next two weeks. The doctor is afraid
that she might rip out her stitches.
Best wishes for Dolly.
ReplyDeleteShe won't enjoy whatever passes for doggie-porn as much, but she'll handle apartment life a whole lot easier
Thanks. That little beast brings me joy.
Deletenorman mcdaniel was a smokaholic
ReplyDeleteand the cancer went ahead and killed him
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AWHeCwChUtE
but goodness knows. he was funny as shit. while he was yet alive.
some ideas for sequals:
- demon in a light bulb
- demon in a sump bucket
- demon in a easy chair
- demon in a butter churn
there's more. just ask.
Sure. Knock yourself out.
DeleteGet well soon, Dolly! I hope you get lots of doggy treats and good pettin's as you recover.
ReplyDeleteElections in this International bodega they still call 'United' States is just kabuki theater. It's all designed to keep the peasants docile, staging this meaningless event where the rubes are led to believe they are exercising political power by voting for Gangster A or for Parasite B. They never seem to grasp that no matter which gangster wins its always more taxes, more laws, more wars, more oligarchs, more naked class warfare, less freedom, less opportunity, less functional infrastructure, more Diversity, more Section 8 housing, more displacement, more Affirmative Action, more race-based exclusion from the institutions their own forefathers built, more relentless attacks on their culture, their History, and their souls, and now with 33% more genocidal dehumanization of their race.
It's difficult to talk about without sounding like an asshole, but if you are over the age of, say, 35 and you still believe any of this shit show is organically real... well, at best you are unable to break the mental chains that enslave you.
It's not governments that oppress and tyrannize.... It is the millions of NPCs who can't draw inferences from observable, objective reality happening right in front of their eyes.
Night of The Living Dead was not a horror movie. It was remarkably insightful social commentary. The fact that everybody thought it was a horror movie only amplifies the irony by a factor of 6 million.
Like you, I often get very upset by the state of the world. Sometimes, it feels like my head is on fire. But then I remember that what happens on earth doesn't affect the Kingdom of Heaven. And that's our final destination, hopefully. So screw it. Let the world burn. As Christ says, it's only birthing pains.
DeleteMassive strikes in Germany. Maybe the Volk are awakening
DeleteI watched that movie in 1972 when I was 12 years old, or there-abouts. I had to scrape together 50 cents, not an easy task, but I was selling nightcrawlers for 2 cents each in Port Henry, NY at the shore of Lake Champlain.
ReplyDeleteIt was a horror movie.
I've never seen it. But now I'm going to give it a try. It's very famous. Lots of people talk about it.
DeleteBig problems in France, too.
Delete