Iron-Fisted Dictators

(Korea used to be at the mercy of dictators.)

Yesterday, I woke up at 7 a.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the headlines on my smartphone while taking a shit. South Korea was formerly ruled by iron-fisted dictators back in the day. One of them was named Chun Doo-Hwan. Along with throwing innocent people out of helicopters, he also stole a ton of cash. Anyway, President Chun’s grandson used some of that money to move to America where he developed a taste for drugs. The kid can currently be found all over the internet going on drug-fueled YouTube rants.

I ate hash browns for breakfast as I watched Fox News. Orange Donald gave a rousing speech in Waco, Texas which attracted 15,000 spectators. Love him or hate him, Trump can certainly pull in a crowd. His detractors say that he picked Waco as a warning to his enemies. In other words, he’s willing to get violent if he doesn’t get his way. Of course, this is all bullshit. Along with laughing at the libtards, Donald took some swipes at Meatball Ronny. The former president accused DeSantis of being friends with Paul Ryan. And that’s quite the insult. All of us America-first types hate Paul with a passion.

I called my mother using Facebook Messenger.

She said, “How’s Dolly the dog?”

I said, “Not too good.”

“Why? What’s going on?”

“She’s lethargic. And sometimes she even walks aimlessly in circles.”

“You should take her outside. That pooch could use some sunshine.”

“She’s not an outside dog. In fact, she cries incessantly whenever we travel with her in the car.”

“Well, Dolly has to get used to it. You need to train her properly.”

I sighed heavily. “I can’t be bothered with all that shit. If she wants to go out, I’ll take her out. But if she wants to stay inside, then I’m not going to force her.”

“That’s abuse.”

“How the hell is that abuse? Some dogs are inside dogs, and other dogs are outside dogs. So what can I do? I didn’t make the rules.”

Later in the day, I decided to walk to church. It’s only three miles away, and I need as much exercise as I can get. Rice-Boy Larry didn’t come with me. He’s currently suffering from a cold which seems damn near impossible to shake. He’s had it now for a good five days. It’s because he never sleeps. He’s usually too busy studying. I shit you not. That’s what happens when you live in Korea. Nobody rests.

Anyway, it took a good hour to get to my destination, and I felt fine except for my back. It always gets as stiff as a board if I stand up too long. I’m hoping I can cure this ailment by walking as much as possible. I want to grow old gracefully which is difficult to do if you’re always racked with nagging aches and pains.

The sermon was the same old, same old. We’re still on the Book of Isiah. The prophet used to walk through the city streets as naked as a jaybird to make his point about the ancient world’s ungodly behavior. I shit you not. Furthermore, he met his grisly end by being cut in half with a wooden saw by one of Jerusalem’s angry kings. The brute who ordered the murder was named Manasseh. He got sick and tired of being badmouthed by God’s messenger.