Putin Is a Blasphemer

(Putin is guilty of crimes against the New World Order.)

Last night, I read the bible. I’m currently on the part where Moses strangles an Egyptian and has to flee for his life into the wilderness. A lot of people don’t know that Moses was actually a murderer. On top of that, he was a product of incest. His mother Jochebed and his father Amram were related by blood. I bring this up because many people in society feel inferior and unloved. But God often chooses leaky vessels to bring glory to his name. So don’t give up. There’s always hope when the Lord gets involved.

I switched on the TV and watched Tucker Carlson. The United States government is now sending thirty tanks to the Ukraine. The new objective is for Zelensky to reclaim the Crimean Peninsula. Anyway, that’s what the generals are saying. Yet we all know the truth. The real agenda is regime change. Putin stands in the way of the New World Order. He’s too nationalistic to survive in modern-day Europe. Plus he’s not a supporter of the homosexual and green-energy movements. In other words, he’s a dangerous blasphemer directly opposed to the religion of progressive liberalism.

I went to bed at 10 p.m. and dreamt about my dead father. He was constructing an above-ground swimming pool in the backyard and yelled at me for handing him the wrong wrench. I began crying and ran inside the house.

I woke up at six a.m. and walked to the bathroom. Then I read the headlines on my smartphone while taking a shit. There’s now a clinic in Itaewon which is giving free HIV tests to foreigners. Don’t get me wrong. Nobody is being forced to get an examination. It’s completely voluntary. About 1,000 people in 2021 contracted the virus in Korea. Most of them are gay men who engage in anal sex.

Mom walked into the kitchen at 9 a.m. She said, “Today, we’re going to Walmart.”

I said, “I need to buy a belt before I go back to Korea.”

“What? They don’t sell them in that part of the world?”

“Not for fat asses. It’s very hard for me to find clothes in Asia. Everything is geared for skinny folk.”

“How about shoes? Do you need a new pair?”

I shrugged. “I don’t think so. I only wear Crocs.”

“But it’s freezing over there.”

“Doesn’t matter. Those shoes are special. They make me feel like I’m walking on air.”

“But they look so ridiculous. Doesn’t your boss ever yell at you for being unprofessional?”

“Officially, wearing Crocs is against the rules. However, nobody has said a single word after all these years. So I’m going to keep enjoying myself until somebody reads me the riot act.”

We walked into the garage, and I pressed a button to raise the door. No problem. The whole process was very smooth. Yet, as my mother backed out into the driveway, the door suddenly started closing on its own and caught her BMW right on top of the roof. It scratched the hell out of the paint job.

I said, “What the fuck happened?”

She said, “Don’t scream. You’ll give me another stroke.”

“I’m not screaming. Did we accidentally press the wrong button? I have no idea why it began shutting on its own.”

“These things happen, son. Sometimes, technology shits the bed.”

I sighed heavily. “At least no one can see the scratches.”

She nodded. “Think nothing of it. I’ll take care of it in the future.”

It turns out that the Walmart we visited was completely out of belts. For some reason, this tore my heart right out of my chest. We could have just stayed home and done it another day. That damage to her BMW is still eating away at my liver. That’s the bad thing about possessions. Sometimes, they end up possessing you.