Wednesday, January 25, 2023

The Bible Is Very Entertaining

(Even dirty atheists should read the bible.)

Last night, I read the bible. I’m at the part where Joseph tells the Egyptians that they can only have grain if they agree to sell themselves into slavery. He also takes their land, making Pharaoh wealthy beyond his imagination. It’s kind of funny in an ironic sort of way. Why? Because the next book is Exodus, and now it’s the Jews who are the slaves of the Egyptians. The bible is the most compelling work of art every produced. In fact, it’s so entertaining that even hardcore atheists would enjoy it.

I sat in the TV room and watched Tucker Carlson. A high-level FBI agent names Charles McGonigal was recently arrested for colluding with the Russians. It seems that he was friends with powerful billionaires who helped him launder lots and lots of cash. This agent also had a part in accusing Trump of being a Russian spy. And that’s the thing with psychopaths. They are master projectionists. They always point the finger at you when they are committing their crimes. Self-awareness is definitely not their strong suit.

I went to bed at 10 p.m. and had one of my recurring dreams. I was in Burger King eating a Whopper, and suddenly I stood up and defecated right on the floor in front of everybody. As you can imagine, the innocent bystanders became unhinged at my deviant behavior. In retaliation, they began pelting me with their sandwich wrappers. I have this nightmare all the time. I have no idea what it means.

I woke up at 6 a.m. and read the headlines on my smartphone while taking a shit. Lots of pampered wealthy Korean men are faking illness in order to avoid mandatory military service. For instance, a singer in a popular boy band told the-powers-that-be that he’s suffering from epilepsy. A professional volleyball player also claims to be afflicted with the same illness. Korea is like everyplace else in the world. If you come from a rich family, you don’t always have to follow the rules.

Mom came into the kitchen at 10 a.m. She said, “I’m so happy. Your niece finally found a new job.”

“That’s great. What will she be doing?”

“Paralegal work for a law firm.”

“Does it pay well?”

“Fifty-five thousand dollars a year.”

“Wonderful. Now she’ll be able to give you the money that she owes.”

My niece is in the hole for $1,500. She was living in one of my mom’s properties rent free. However, there was one stipulation. She was supposed to pay the condo fee which comes to $250 a month. Well, she hasn’t lived up to her responsibilities for sixth months. And even worse, she concealed it from my mother. Now the old lady is worried that it might affect her credit score.

I spent the rest of the afternoon glued to Netflix. I’m rewatching a documentary about Hitler’s inner circle. It’s absolutely fascinating. These guys spent their entire careers kissing Adolf’s ass, hoping that the furor would give them an occasional pat on the head. To that end, they constantly fought with each other like cats and dogs in an effort to climb the social ladder.

In contrast, I’ve never been good at sucking up to powerful men. Don't get me wrong. It’s truly a skill that will get you ahead in the world. I’m reasonably intelligent, but I’m a broke dead dick. If I knew how to score brownie points, I think I’d be driving a Mercedes by now. Yet I try not to bitch about my poverty. Things could always be worse. I’m just glad that I wasn’t born in Djibouti. 

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