Last night, I took Rice-Boy Larry to a fried-chicken restaurant. This in now our new Friday-night ritual. At the end of the week, we eat bird together while I drink a pitcher of beer and smoke cigarettes.
He said, "Mom caught Covid again."
I was shocked. "When did this happen?"
"A few days ago."
"And you're just telling me now?"
"I forgot to mention it."
"Is she very sick?"
He shrugged. "I don't know. I never asked."
I took a huge sip of beer and walked outside for a puff. I looked into the window of a sushi restaurant. It was packed with Koreans eating raw fish. They were also drinking soju and sake. I never touch hard liquor these days. My body is deteriorating by the minute, and I can no longer handle that type of poison.
I inhaled my coffin nail right down to the nub and threw the butt into the street. Then I returned to the restaurant.
I said, "Does Mom talk to you every day?"
He nodded. "She sends messages."
"Well, that's not good."
"Why?"
I sighed heavily. "I'm hoping to get through this divorce with as little drama as possible."
"That's never going to happen. Mom once told me that she was going to write evil stuff about us on the internet before committing suicide. She wants the world to know what a couple of assholes we are."
I smiled and waved his comments away. "She's said that to me a million times. But they're only words. I let it roll off my back like water from a duck's ass."
"But do you really think someone like that will ever go away peacefully?"
I thought about it for a couple of seconds and sighed again. "When you're right, you're right."
The meal came to thirty-four dollars, and I paid for the vittles using my bank card. I used to make all my purchases with cash back in the good old days, but now I'm trying to become a hip to this brave new world. In fact, I'm looking forward to a one-world currency. That means that the end times are near, and Jesus will rapture out of this stinking shithole of a planet.
We got home at 9 p.m., and I briefly thought about viewing porno. But I was simply too drunk and exhausted. So I watched several episodes of Vikings instead. I'm on the part in season six where King Harald Finehair returns to Kattegat to take over the trading post. Meanwhile, Ivar the Boneless is still in Kiev trying to outthink the city's ruling autocrat. Good stuff.
I fell asleep at 11 p.m., but I kept waking up during the night in order to piss. I finally crawled out of bed at 8 a.m. and called my mother using Facebook Messenger.
I said, "I'm a little angy."
She said, "Why?"
"I got a message from the hospital the other day. They told me to come in and give them my fecal matter."
"What's the big deal?"
"Well, I recently had a checkup, and I brought my shit with me in a container. But nobody asked me for it at the time."
"So are you taking the bus there?"
I shook my head. "I'm not going."
"How come?"
"The hospital says it's optional. They will check my fecal matter if I wish them to do so. Yet it's not mandatory. It won't affect my health insurance."
"So the government does this for free?"
"That's right."
"Wow. That's a good deal."
"Koreans have long life expectancies. The healthcare is first-rate over in this part of the world."
(Give my message board a try.)
It's good to have these little Rixuals, as Boothe Tarkington called them through his creation, Penrod. ( Tarkington has been forgotten and would be scandalously blasphemous to the High Priests of the current State Religion, but "Penrod" should rightfully rank alongside Huck Finn as an American literary work of genius, and "Seventeen" is one of the funniest novels ever written.)
ReplyDeleteAs I said these little rixuals are what makes life worth living, and bring more joy than massive great vacations and upheavals aimed at having' a good time.
Glad you and The Rice Lad are doing well. I'm thinking of giving up alcohol entirely.
It's probably a good idea to give up the sauce. Nothing good comes of it. But I'm not going to lie. I enjoy a few beers every now and then.
DeleteSome tests are irrelevant, and even downright harmful
ReplyDeletehttps://robynchuter.substack.com/p/major-trial-finds-screening-colonoscopy
ie, you either find out that you have something irreversibly terminal
or, something that probably won't kill you, but the treatments for it sure will
All I know is this. A hundred years ago, you were lucky to make it to sixty. But through the progression of healthcare and medicine, we can now expect to see eighty...with a little bit of luck.
Delete“In fact, I'm looking forward to a one-world currency. That means that the end times are near”
ReplyDeleteIf by “end times” you mean the end of human freedom and dignity then I agree. And what specifically, does this rapture thing mean?
While the actual term 'The Rapture' is not contained in the Bible, God has promised in the Book of Revelation to remove His saints from this earth just prior to the beginning of the 7 years of the Anti-Christ's rule over the world in a Satanic, one world government. The Rapture is how Christians describe being physically caught up to Heaven before Satan is given free reign on this physical realm, or plane of existence.
DeleteI believe the Bible is true and that the end times (that is, the end of this physical world and the sin that curses it) are very near. There are many prophesies in The Revelation that appear to be coming true before our eyes. ( The existence of Israel as a distinct nation, for example. The Bible predicted 2,000 years ago that this would happen).
I encourage you to read the Bible for yourself, and to accept the Gospel of Jesus Christ while you still may.
Jesus talks about the rapture during his Olivet Discourse. He doesn't call it the rapture, but he let's his disciples know that believers will be whisked away in order to avoid the terrible suffering that occurs during the tribulation. The rapture is mentioned again in Thessalonians. Again, the actual word isn't used, but Paul's words are pretty clear. Cheers.
DeleteW728--Read the Book of Daniel. The prophet talks about the end times, and he mentions something called "the abomination of desolation". Then go to Jesus's Olivet Discourse which can be found in Matthew 24. He also talks about the abomination of desolation. But he says that some will be taken out of the world before the final conflict. These are going to be horrible times. That's why this period is called the Tribulation followed by the Great Tribulation.
Delete"That's never going to happen. Mom once told me that she was going to write evil stuff about us on the internet before committing suicide. She wants the world to know what a couple of assholes we are."
ReplyDeleteJack, are you and Larry OK? Sounds like burning yourself alive would be less painful.
So, saints or believers (which is it?) get taken to the Good Place and the other 7 billion of us (I am not a saint though not necessarily a disbeliever) have a pretty shitty time of it for 7 years. Then what?
ReplyDeleteThe world gets destroyed and all the lights go out. That's when Jesus returns in a cloud of glory to reclaim his kingdom. Then he starts his thousand-year reign. It's all in black and white. Read Revelations and the Gospels in order to get it from the source. Never trust anybody with your soul...especially some frustrated blogger. Ha, ha, ha.
DeleteIf the world is destroyed, what exactly will He reign over?
DeleteIt gets remade through the power of his word. We ARE talking about God after all.
DeleteIf the world can be remade through the power of His word, why wait? Why all the needless sturm und drang? And will free will exist in the remade world? If so, well, it’d be kinda Here We Go Again, no?
DeleteFYI: I mean no disrespect with these questions. My thinking has evolved over the years from firm atheism to respect and appreciation for Christian values and philosophy. I’m still struggling with some of the logical inconsistencies, though.
DeleteSaints and believers are interchangeable terms; those whom believe on Christ (that is, those who have believed the Gospel message that Jesus Christ was God in flesh and that He died and rose from the grave to the forgiveness of sin) are called saints in the Bible. Both terms are used to express the same idea.
DeleteThere is much debate even amongst lifelong Christians about exactly how things will play out during the Tribulation. Many things in the Bible are clear and quite straightforward: God hates liars, we must believe in the Gospel to be saved, loving our neighbor as we love ourselves is the whole of the Law. But many other things are not so obvious, and are only to be understood when God chooses to fully reveal it.
In I Corinthians15, verses 51-53, the Apostle Paul wrote,
51 Behold, I shew you a mystery; We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed,
52 In a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trump: for the trumpet shall sound, and the dead shall be raised incorruptible, and we shall be changed.
53 For this corruptible must put on incorruption, and this mortal must put on immortality.
Paul is saying that we shall not all die a natural death (sleep), but that at the sound of the Last Trumpet we shall be instantaneously changed into Heavenly bodies that will never experience death. Most Christians take these verses as a prophesy regarding the Rapture, that they will be translated into immortal beings in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, when Jesus Christ removes His Church from the material world prior to His judgments being poured out on an unbelieving and rebellious world. But the point I'd like you to notice is that Paul tells us this is a MYSTERY, one of the deep things of God. Naturally a topic like this will create many different points of view, even among people who share the same fundamental theology.
As I understand it, Jesus will return physically, as the God- man that He is (that is, He has a physical body just like your own) at the end of the 7 years of Tribulations following the Rapture in order to overthrow the Anti-Christ and his One World Government. The earth will not be destroyed at that time, but will be ruled over by Jesus Christ for 1,000 years from his seat (Throne) in Jerusalem. After that period Satan will be loosed again, and will make war upon God one last time. It is then that the earth will be destroyed (the Bible tells us the elements themselves will melt in a fervent heat). It will be then that God will judge the wicked, and cast them into the Lake of Fire with the Devil. The Saints, Believers, the Bride of Christ (all these terms mean the same thing) will then be given the Heaven most people visualize or refer to when they use that word, and eternal bliss will ensue after God Himself removes all sin, sorrow, and death.
I concur with Jack in that you should read it for yourself, and repeat that these are my opinions on the matter and you can find plenty who would disagree and say my understanding is faulty.
Which is entirely consistent with what Paul says is a mystery.
Thank you for the thoughtful reply.
DeleteMy main sticking point with the whole rapture business is with those that seem to be cheerleading, if not actively contributing to manifestation of the End Times scenario. As if that can direct His will.
I smell a little ego driven and even vengeful wish to be the “I told you so” scolds that seems quite at odds with the Christian philosophy as I perceive it.
I guess I’m content to the best thoughtful person I can and let the unknowable mystery be. At least until I have my “road to Damascus” moment, eh?
Hi, W72. God's going to do what God's going to do. I don't spend a lot of sleepless nights worrying about it. I wish I had a better answer, but I don't. After all, I'm just some idiot who writes a blog on a dark corner of the internet.
Delete