I Love Netflix

(Netflix has given me countless hours of enjoyment.)

Today, I woke up at 8 a.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the headlines on my smartphone while taking a nasty shit. An 18-year-old hottie named Jang Won-Young is a member of a popular K-pop group named Ive. She was walking down the street the other day when a little boy rushed toward her in order to touch the singer. But she shied away from the kid and looked at him as if he were a retard. This made many Korean moms angry. They are now on a popular message board calling the performer a snooty bitch.

I called my mother using Facebook Messenger, but it was Ken who answered the phone.

I said, "Are you looking for a job yet?"

He nodded. "I'm on top of things. I sent out a ton of applications."

"Have you tried Waffle House?"

"Are you crazy? Why in God's name would I want to work there?"

"You can test it out for me. I need to find a gig where I can make a thousand bucks a week if I pull sixty hours."

He laughed out loud. "So let me get this straight. You plan on making $52,000 a year by slinging hash?"

"It's the tips, son. Hell, I might be able to earn more than that. Plus I won't have to declare most of my income to the taxman, which will enable me to qualify for food stamps and Medicaid."

"Wow. You're a real mover and shaker, aren't you?"

"I'm old, Ken. I need a job where I don't have to do much thinking. My brain simply isn't the same these days."

He suddenly changed the subject. "Granny says that you're smoking again."

I nodded. "That's right. But only about six or seven a day. I spend the rest of my time chomping on nicotine gum."

"Are you having stress because Mom left you...again?"

The sarcasm in his voice pissed me off a little. "It's different this time, son. She can't come back. My nerves are frail and on the verge of collapse. I'm actually beginning to wonder if I have PTSD. Sounds stupid, but I'm deadly serious."

"We shall see."

I knocked on Rice-Boy Larry's door. He was sleeping on his bed next to a huge fan. I shook his leg a few times in order to wake him from his slumber. His eyes snapped open, and he let out a huge yawn.

"What is it?"

"Mom canceled her subscription to Netflix, so you have to start a new account using my name and bank account."

Surprisingly, he didn't complain. He simply climbed out of bed and went to the computer room without saying a word. He got everything straightened out in less than twenty minutes. Larry is a real genius when it comes to that kind of stuff.

Netflix is a good deal over here on the peninsula. I paid for the standard package which costs about twelve dollars a month. The streaming company will automatically take the money from the bank on a monthly basis. Netflix might be the best deal in Korea.

I rode the elevator down to the first floor and smoked a Marlboro Red in front of the building. Then I walked across the street and bought six donuts for five dollars. I gave them to Larry as a show of respect. I'd be lost without that boy.

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