Porn Is Predatory

(Viewing hardcore smut is a hard habit to kick.)

Yesterday, I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the headlines on my smartphone while taking a nasty shit. A 47-year-old woman from Seoul had a young boyfriend who was fifteen years her junior. One night, he went nuts and beat her up. So she reported him to the police, and they questioned the guy for several hours. The suspect was released the next morning under his own recognizance. He went to his apartment and got a knife. And you guessed it. Romeo stabbed his former sweetheart to death with the blade.

I ate hash browns for breakfast as I watched the news of the world on YouTube. Riley Reid is a famous pornstar. She makes her living by fornicating with strangers on videos seen around the planet. But she’s currently in a fragile emotional state. Her family—including her mother—has completely abandoned her. They steadfastly refuse to even speak with her. Furthermore, Riley recently had a baby, and many of her former fans have said cruel things about the child. I would like to remind my fellow humans that Christians are always allowed to come home no matter what crimes they have committed. So wagging your fingers in the face of a fallen woman isn’t a wise idea. She’s a child of God, too.

When I was a teenager, the most famous naughty actress in the world was Marilyn Chambers. Marilyn was a hot piece of ass, and more than a billion viewers have enjoyed her body over the years. She died alone at a trailer park in California back in 2009. Ms. Chambers didn’t have a dime to her name. That tells you everything you need to know about the porn industry. It’s definitely a predatory business that chews people up and spits them out. I’m doing my best to avoid smut at all costs. Yet it’s not easy. Women are very beautiful, especially when they're naked. Pray for me.

I called my mother using Facebook Messenger.

She said, “Nurse Ken told me he’s thinking about writing books just like you.”

I said, “But my career as an author has been a complete failure.”

“He still wants to follow in your footsteps.”

“What? To become a broke loser?”

“You’re not a loser.”

“Well, that’s up for debate.”

She changed the subject. “Ken took his HESI Exam, and now we’re just waiting for the results.”

“When will that be?”

“He should get his scores after Memorial Day.”

“Tell him not to worry one way or the other. If he lays an egg, he can always become a penniless teacher like his daddy.”

“You should give him a call.”

“I will in a week. I don’t want to put any pressure on him. He might think that I’m digging for information.”

“That’s a good idea. He’s a tight ball of stress these days.”

My day at work was complete hell. We had a school fair, and I was in charge of the homerun derby. In other words, I tossed soft pitches to children, and they tried to hit the ball as hard as possible. It wasn’t dangerous. I used a Wiffle ball and a plastic bat. I also sold hot dogs and chips to the hungry masses. Eight hours in the hot sun really sapped my strength. I currently feel like I’ve been dragged through the streets from the back of a pickup truck. I’m in desperate need of rest and relaxation.

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