Group Suicide

 

(Four dead people were found in Gwanju.)

Yesterday, I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the headlines on my smartphone while taking a nasty dump. Four dead Koreans were found inside a rental car. The automobile was parked under an overpass in the city of Gwanju. The authorities believe that this was a group suicide and that the victims met each other over the internet. Three of the corpses were men in their 30s, and the other was a woman in her twenties. Suicide is a huge problem here on the peninsula. Lots of people decide to take their own lives when the shit hits the fan.

It's funny. But I also post my garbage over at Medium. And trust me. I don’t get a lot of traffic at the other platform. Yet a young lady named Melissa recently raked me over the coals for one of my former posts. She said that my thoughts were vapid because I didn’t give any useful advice on how to stop people from killing themselves. And she’s absolutely right. I’m clueless. All I can say is turn to Jesus Christ. He’s our only hope. Without him, we’re nothing but food for worms.

I ate hash browns for breakfast as I watched Fox News. Congress wrote a report detailing the financial crimes of Senile Joe and the rest of the Biden family. The clan has received millions upon millions of dollars from nations around the world trying to curry favor. It’s nothing more than a giant pay-for-play scheme. But I’m not going to start wearing burlap while I cover my head in ashes. Everybody knows that Joe is as corrupt as they come. And we also know that he’s a pervert who likes to sniff little girls. Yet Americans voted for him anyway. In the end, we all get the government we deserve.

The Dragon Lady suddenly barged into my room. She showed me the index finger on her right hand. It was red and swollen.

I said, “What’s the problem?”

“Rast night, you son bite me.”

“Last night? At what time?”

“Ereven.”

“Where was I?”

“You sweeping.”

I nodded. I try to shut it down at 10 p.m. on a regular basis. I’m one of those guys who really needs his rest. On top of that, I always sleep like the dead. So even if they were fighting like cats and dogs, I probably wouldn’t have noticed. It takes a hand grenade to wake me from my slumber.

I questioned Rice-Boy Larry.

“Mom claims that you bit her. Is that true?”

“Yes.”

I sighed heavily. “Son, biting people isn’t nice. Why did you do it?”

“I was just joking around. I didn’t mean to hurt her.”

The Dragon Lady said, “He rying! Rook at my fingah! I need da doctah.”

I said, “Apologize to your mother.”

He said, “Sorry, Mom.”

“Dat not good enough. I reave in da summah. You soon see. I not stay here.”

Biting your mother is never a good thing. And I certainly don’t condone such barbaric behavior. In the old days, my son would have been stoned outside the city gates for such a horrible act of disobedience. But the Dragon Lady has her own history of violence. Many years ago, she got into a shoving match with Nurse Ken. He was fifteen years old at the time. Anyway, she became so frustrated that she bit him on the chest, leaving a huge angry raspberry below his shoulder.

I’ve been married to my spouse for a quarter of a century, and it’s been like a prison sentence. However, I also realize that she’s a mental case and that many of her issues are probably the result of brain damage. So if she stays she stays, and if she goes she goes. I’m certainly not going to kick her out. She’s got nowhere else to stay.

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