Violence at School

Yesterday, I got home at 6 p.m. and switched on Fox News. There was a story about violence in the American public high school system. The students at one Florida location keep beating the shit out of their teachers. All of the culprits are black, and all of the victims are also black. I didn't see a single white or Asian kid causing any problems at this particular institution. In fact, the entire campus seems to be populated exclusively by African Americans.

I taught in a public school for five years. I was an English instructor. It was my job to teach grammar and literature to the teenagers. I hated the gig with a passion. Some of the stuff I saw was beyond belief. For instance, one kid literally had his skull fractured by a vicious sucker punch, but the perpetrator of this crime was only given a slap on the wrist. In another classroom, a young girl was caught giving a hand job to a boy under the desk. And to cap it all off, a special education teacher got his fifteen-year-old student pregnant. The list goes on and on. I could literally talk for days discussing the endless debauchery. I'm so glad that I didn't waste my life doing that job till I died. Hallelujah.

I called my mom using Facebook Messenger.

I said, "I don't want to put any stress on you, but it's important that you listen carefully."

She said, "What is it?"

"You've got to burn Nurse Ken's magic mushrooms."

"And how do I do that?"

I sighed heavily. "Don't you have a barbecue grill?"

"Yes. It's on the patio."

"Well, your problem is solved. Put them in the grill, cover them with lighter fluid, and then fire them up."

She nodded. "OK, I'll do it. In fact, Ken has already thrown them in the garbage."

"That's not good enough. You must get rid of the evidence. If he has more than ten grams, it's a huge felony."

"How much is ten grams?"

"About a quarter ounce."

"Holy shit. Only a quarter ounce?" She nodded again. "OK, I'm going to pick them out of the trash bag and then I'll set them alight."

"After they burn, break the remains into tiny pieces and scatter them in your lawn."

"I'll do it. Don't worry."

I suddenly had to fight back tears. "Nurse Ken isn't a bad kid. He's just a fucking idiot, and he'd never make it in prison."

"I know. You don't have to explain anything to me. We're a family, and we have to help each other out."

"Thanks, Mom."

I went to bed at 10 p.m. and slept like the dead. Then I woke up at 6 a.m. and walked to the bathroom. I read the headlines on my smartphone while taking a shit. The Korea Communications Commission tried to limit the speech of a Christian broadcasting company on the grounds of homophobia. The Christians were on the air badmouthing the practice of sodomy in society. However, a court in Seoul said that their speech is protected by the Korean Constitution. Good for the judges. Free speech is important.

I walked into the kitchen and ate my breakfast. I'm still on my special diet. I drank three raw eggs and ate two tangerines. So far, I've lost over twenty pounds in the span of a month.