Yesterday, I listened to another sermon by Pastor Mark Driscoll on YouTube. He's still covering the book of Nehemiah and doing a wonderful job. In this particular video, Driscoll explains what it's like to have power enemies who are out to get your scalp. He has a lot of experience with on this subject matter. His last church was taken over by hateful libtards who nearly forced him out of the ministry altogether. It's a harrowing tale.
But my circumstances are completely different from Mark's. I'm simply not an important man, and if I dropped dead tomorrow, nobody in the entire world would give a flying fuck. Therefore, I really don't have any enemies out to screw me because I'm pretty much an invisible man. Not that I care. Most people are living a life like mine, so there's no point in getting depressed about it.
I went to bed at 10 p.m. and dreamt about Alaska. I was in a wood cabin with lots of people inside. We were all eating lunch on plastic trays. The weather outside was atrocious. The snow kept falling from the sky with no end in sight. Yet it was nice and toasty indoors. I felt like a child inside his mother's womb. Warm and protected. Nothing could hurt me.
Then the alarm went off right at 6 a.m. I was back to the shithole called reality. I walked to the bathroom and read the headlines on my smartphone while evacuating my bowels. A man from Seoul got really pissed off when his girlfriend dumped him. So he tied her up and locked her in a room for several hours. Later in the day, he broke her ribs and made her eat dog excrement. This villain is now facing five years in prison.
I called my oldest son Nurse Ken. He gave me an attitude.
He said, "What do you want, for Christ's sake? I'm taking an exam for my statistics class over the internet. Can't you just leave me the fuck alone?"
I said, "I just need five minutes."
"OK! Five fucking minutes. That's it!"
I collected my thoughts. I didn't want to come across as angry.
"Your cousin Elizabeth said some shocking stuff yesterday."
"Yeah? And what was that?"
"She told me that you're growing magic mushrooms in your grandmother's house with the hopes of turning a profit."
"It's true, but I changed my mind. Don't worry. I've thrown everything away, and she promised not to call the cops on me."
I sighed heavily. "Are you a fucking retard?"
"What?"
"You heard me." Then I repeated the question for dramatic effect. "Are you a fucking retard?"
"Why would you say that?"
"It's a schedule-one drug, you fuckhead. If you possess more than ten grams, you can actually get thirty years in prison. And you wouldn't last a minute in jail. You're too much of a fucking pussy."
He hung up the phone after calling me an asshole. But I don't care if he's pissed. I'm merely trying to protect the boy. Nurse Ken isn't a criminal...in the typical sense of the word. He's just a stupid nerd who acts before thinking. For instance, he bought the mushroom spores over the internet and grew the fungus himself. To him, it was all just fun and games. He simply has no idea that he's playing with fire. American prisons are filled with clueless dorks like him.
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