Porn Slut

 

(Porn slut Mia Khalifa is happy about the carnage in Israel.)

Today, I woke up at 8 a.m. and drank a cup of instant coffee. Then I read the headlines on my smartphone while taking a giant dump. Porn slut Mia Khalifa is enjoying the current slaughter that is happening in Israel. She says that the Jewish women and children are getting exactly what they deserve. This from a woman whose major claim to fame is selling her pussy to the highest bidder. Mia should visit the Gaza Strip and show her films to her heroes. They would immediately behead this loud-mouthed prostitute and hang her head on a spike.

I called my mother using Facebook Messenger. She was sitting on her patio.

“Have you heard from your wife?”

“She messages Rice-Boy Larry from time to time.”

“What does she say?”

“She always wants to know if he’s getting enough to eat.”

“If he’s getting enough to eat? That’s ridiculous. Does she think you’re starving your own son?”

I shook my head. “It’s a common greeting here on the peninsula. Every time I meet one, they always ask if I had dinner. It comes from their days of poverty. Back then, everybody was hungry.”

Mom nodded. “I get it.” Then she suddenly changed the subject. “Did you go to church yesterday?”

“Yes. We had a guest speaker.”

“And what was he saying?”

“Well, he’s not a pastor. He’s actually a university professor, and he’s been going through some hard times with his health. The poor guy’s been hospitalized four times in the last two years.”

“What’s wrong with him?”

“He never said. But I got a funny feeling it’s cancer.”

“That sucks.”

“It’s weird, Mom. I always bitch and complain about my shitty life. Yet everyone else probably has it worse than me. I need to start counting my blessings. Look at Robert Plant.”

“Who?”

“Robert Plant. He is the lead singer from Led Zeppelin. He’s got fame and fortune and loads of talent. However, Robert lost his little boy back in the day due to disease. And he’d probably give it all up if he could just bring his son back to life.”

She sighed heavily. “Man, you are really bringing me down. Try to be more positive when you call tomorrow.”

“I’ll certainly do my best.”

I ate three jelly donuts for breakfast before sitting on the sofa to watch Netflix. I viewed a film called The Apostle. It’s about a demon living amongst a cult. All the people worship this beast as if it were God. Of course, things don’t work out well for them in the end. Most of the suckers end up getting slaughtered before the final credits. I give the movie a thumbs up. It’s certainly not as good as Hereditary, but if you got a couple of hours to kill, you could certainly do worse.

Rice-Boy Larry rolled out of bed and walked into the living room.

He said, “I’ve got some interesting news.”

“What?”

“Do you remember the Christmas field trip?”

“Yep. It’s the one I can’t afford to send you on.”

“Well, some of the parents are willing to pick up the check.”

“Really? Who?”

He shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know. It’s an anonymous donation.”

I shook my head from side to side. “I’m not sure if that’s a good idea. It makes me feel like a beggar.”

“It’s up to you. Just think about it.”

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