It's Not His Time

(2024 belongs to Orange Donald.)

Yesterday, I made fried rice for dinner. I also threw some pork and eggs into the pan. The meal didn't taste all that great, but it was capable of producing a turd. Things could always be worse. At least I'm not starving in Uganda while an angry witch doctor fucks me in the ass. So there you go. With that said, it's not easy being a single father. I have to cook and clean and do the laundry as I work a fulltime job. The toil never ends. Yet it's a labor of love. I'm simply glad that I'm not alone in my struggle.

I sat on the sofa during my free time and watched Fox News. Laura Ingraham told her audience that black people are defecting from the democratic party in droves. However, I'm not buying the bullshit. All the black folk I know are staunch Biden supporters. The only hope Orange Donald has in 2024 is an uprising by whitey. Those liberal soccer moms have to change their stripes, or we're all screwed. I'm not holding my breath.

At 11 p.m., I walked to my room and viewed pornography. The South Korean government blocks most of the filthy websites, but for some strange reason, Xhamster still functions. The peninsula isn't nearly as free as the United States when it comes to hardcore smut. It's ironic because you can't throw a rock in this nation without hitting a whorehouse. So go figure that one out. Anyway, favorite video of the evening involved two Filipina ladies banging a lucky white dude. They both had perfect tits and wonderful asses. Those babes were delicious. Real yummy.

After getting my jollies, I asked Christ for forgiveness. I explained to him that I'm a single oldster who is no longer on the prowl. I'll never know the touch of a woman again, so dirty movies are all I have left. Jesus didn't respond, but I know in my heart that he isn't amused by my antics. Make no mistake. Pornography is a sin. Watching complete strangers fornicate is pretty creepy when you think about. Yet I can't seem to help myself.

I fell asleep at one a.m. and had a nightmare. A demon named Dick Peterman was in the kitchen mixing Martinis. I told him to get the fuck out of my house, but he scolded me for my lack of hospitality. He said that even though he was a fallen angel, that was no excuse for my rudeness toward him. So I helplessly sat at the table and watched in horror as he sipped my alcohol with his thick red lips and pointy teeth.

I woke up at 8 a.m. and drank a cup of instant coffee. Then I read the headlines on my smartphone while taking a nasty shit. A lot of stray cats in Seoul are falling prey to the avian flu. Scientists fear that the virus might spread to humans. The strain seems very powerful. It's killing many of the fur babies.

I called my mom using Facebook Messenger.

She said, "I'm really surprised that Ron DeSantis is doing so poorly."

I shrugged. "He doesn't seem to be a people person."

"How do you mean?"

"Under a national spotlight, he's a tad stale."

"I've heard that he's done wonderful things for Florida."

I nodded in agreement. "That's the rumor. But his lack of wisdom is astounding. 2024 belongs to Orange Donald. Every fool knows that."

"Trump's always been my guy."

"Well, there you go. He never should have entered this race. It's not his time."

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