Yesterday, I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the headlines on my smartphone while taking a shit. South Korea used to be a dictatorship, and one of their strongmen was a guy named Doo-hwan Chun. As you can imagine, he wasn’t the nicest guy in the world, fleecing the people out of millions upon millions of dollars. Anyway, the late Doo-hwan has a grandson named Woo-won. And Woo-won is a complete mess. He was caught red-handed using lots of drugs in America, and he even bragged about it on YouTube. Consequently, he’s now being prosecuted by the South Korean government for his crimes.
I ate hash browns for breakfast as I watched Fox News. I was
surprised to learn that 25 percent of American high school students currently
identify as either gay or bisexual. That’s a crazy number. One could even call
it mass hysteria and collective mental illness. At first, I blamed this new
stat on pornography. But porn has been around for a long time, and it never
turned most of its viewers into sexual libertines. Back in my day, people enjoyed
it, jerked off, and got on with their lives. So what’s the problem? You can
find the answer in Romans 1 in the bible. We’re a nation that has been
abandoned by God, and this is one of the symptoms. Think I’m joking? Then sit
down and read the epistle. Paul spells it out in black and white.
I called my mom using Facebook Messenger.
She said, “I’m a little worried.”
I said, “Why?”
“I have another urinary-tract infection, and the ailment led
to my first stroke.”
“Should you go to the emergency room?”
“Well, I’m not slurring my words, so I’m going to hold off for a bit. The emergency room is awful. It’s filled with all types of bacteria and viruses.”
I sighed heavily. “Are you supposed to wait for the slurred speech? Doesn’t it make more sense to get treated before that actually happens?”
Mom laughed. “I guess you’re right. I’ll see how I feel
after I eat.”
“Well, could you keep me updated. Sometimes, you don’t
answer the phone. I have to keep calling and calling.”
“That only happens when I’m away from my phone. I’m often in
the backyard. It needs to be cut.”
“Make Nurse Ken do it.”
“I asked, but he’s not available until Monday. He’s working
at the pizza place.”
“Yeah, but it will only take 30 minutes.”
“Everything is fine. The sky isn’t falling.”
My day at work went well. I managed to view the Yankees game
during my downtime. They defeated the Rangers by two runs. But the team isn’t
very impressive these days. Too many people are hurt. That’s the thing about
sports. Everything depends on health. If the stars get injured, the squad is
screwed.
I also started reading The Color Purple by Alice
Walker. I’m currently on page 80. I have to tell you guys the truth. So far, I’m
loving it. The novel is depraved. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not a huge fan of
depravity, but it makes for interesting story telling.
Later in the evening, I switched on The Chosen by clicking on angel.com. All the episodes are completely free, and the show is a masterpiece. Only an idiot would refuse to watch it.
(Did you like this post? Then read my novel for free. Click here.)
(Give my message board a try.)
So you start of in sub title under headline picture with biblical passage of Roman's 1 > then in 2nd sentence you use base profanity , you proceed to lewd word description of solo sex act. What you write is not to be taken seriously.
ReplyDeleteSorry. I'll try to do better.
DeleteDon't take it too hard. Ask a liberal, it's society's fault!
DeleteSome things are the fault of capitalists. For instance, moving all the jobs to China. We can't blame that on the poor.
DeleteYeah, that's a good point. If either side actually cared, the world would be a much better place! Lol!
DeleteI firmly believe that we are under God's judgment. It's a downhill slide from here.
DeleteSo you start of terms of "an foolin korea" , you proceed to fox news. What you write are not to be taken seriousally.
ReplyDeleteYes. I freely admit that I am a fool.
DeleteJack, which of you is the fool? This doublecommenting idiot can go read another blogger! One that he takes "seriously."
DeleteHi, Ben. The guy who made that comment has been following my writing for years. He's a good guy. He's just a little weird sometimes. Believe it or not, he's actually an intellectual. His grammar is impeccable when he isn't joking around. I'm guessing that his IQ is formidable. Hard to believe, but true.
DeleteYour writing is just fine. Don't listen to to your critics.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the kind words.
DeleteNot to be picky', but you mostly write "while taking a shit" in many of your essay/blogs but shouldn't it be ; "whilst taking a shit"?
ReplyDeleteThank you for the laughs anyway :)
and this Brit is just pullin' your leg! 😀
DeleteWhilst. I'll keep it in mind.
DeleteThanks, Ben.
DeleteMaybe he does his best writing 'while taking a shit?'
ReplyDeleteNo, I always wait until I'm finished. Proper hygiene is important to me.
Delete