Dead Dogs

 

(There are a lot of sick bastards in the world.)

Yesterday, I taught the kids for the first time this year. In one of my classes, we’re reading a story called The Bride Comes to Yellow Sky. It was written back in the day by Stephen Crane. He’s the guy penned The Red Badge of Courage. I’ve never been a huge fan of Crane. In fact, I think he sucks giant ass. It’s his writing style. It does nothing but put me to sleep. But it’s not Stephen’s fault. I’m probably just a Philistine.

The children all seem very nice. I used to teach monsters in America. In fact, I was employed by a high school for five years, and I even had tenure. Sadly, I simply couldn’t do it anymore. You had to keep your eyes on the idiots at all times. I never even used the board for fear of the chaos that would ensue with my back turned. I felt more like a zookeeper than an actual educator. Needless to say, the stress was turning me into an angry retard. Therefore, I decided to walk away from the profession.

I didn’t have any classes in the afternoon, so I switched on NBA League Pass via my computer. I watched the game between Phoenix and Dallas. The Suns look great since acquiring Kevin Durant. His presence is giving Devin Booker a lot of open looks. They pulled away from the Mavericks in the fourth quarter, and Doncic became quite frustrated. He even threatened to punch Booker right on the nose.

I got home at 6 p.m. and was greeted by Dolly the dog. She wagged her tail and licked my hands. I reciprocated by scratching her ears. I have a bad case of puppy love. After that, I washed my hands and feet before changing into my jammies. Once again, I had gumbo soup for dinner. It came with several slices of warm bread. It was a great meal.

I glanced at Rice-Boy Larry. “Are you still looking for a job.”

He nodded. “Yes, but first I have to download an app.”

“Why?”

“It lists places that are hiring kids in my age group.”

I tapped him on the arm affectionately. “Soon, you’ll be a working man. That’s wonderful. Would you be willing to buy my nicotine gum in the future? We could call it rent.”

“Sure.”

“It’s expensive.”

“How much?”

“It’s about twenty dollars per packet.”

“Wow. It would be cheaper just to smoke.”

I sighed deeply. “That’s not an option.”

He shrugged his shoulders. “I’ll buy it. Why not?”

“You’re a good man. I mean that sincerely.”

Suddenly, I had to take a shit. It came upon me like gangbusters, and I ran to the toilet. I read the headlines on my smartphone as I sat on the toilet. The police found over 1,000 dead dogs on the grounds of a house in the city of Yangpyeong. The villain in this strange sick tale collected abandoned animals and placed them in cages just to watch them starve to death. For his cruelty, he might be forced to spend the next three years in prison.

I went to my room and switched on Netflix. I’m currently viewing a show called Vikings Valhalla. I’m really having a good time even though it’s historically inaccurate. For instance, many of the characters are black. One of them—a female no less—is even the Jarl of Kattegat. Maybe I’m wrong, but something tells me that there weren’t many black Vikings back in the day. Yet what do I know?

I eventually called it a night at 10 p.m. I slept like the dead.