Yesterday, I got home at 6 p.m. and ate fish for dinner. It
came with a serving of rice. I’m not a huge fan of rice. But I live in Asia,
so I have to eat it every day. With that said, I no longer consume a lot of
beef and pork. I’m trying my best to lose weight. Sadly, I’m a huge fat ass. I’ve
really let myself go in my old age.
I watched a sermon by Pastor Charles Lawson as I sucked down
my vittles. He’s one of my favorite preachers. He definitely has a unique style.
I really love the way he weaves conspiracy theories into his weekly messages.
For instance, he believes that aliens and UFOs are actually demons who have
escaped from hell. And maybe he’s right. What the hell do I know?
I scratched Dolly the dog behind the ear, and she wagged her
tail. Then I looked at the Dragon Lady.
“The pooch is pretty darn skinny. What? Is she on the North
Korean diet?”
My wife shot me the stink eye. “You da asshoe.”
“Maybe you should start giving her more food.”
Rice-Boy Larry said, “She looks skinny because Mom shaved
off her hair.”
I shook my head disdainfully. “I’m not sure if I agree with
that move. It’s the middle of winter, and I don’t want her to catch pneumonia.”
The Dragon Lady rolled her eyes. “She da healfy dog. Why you
comprain? I da one who do all da work.”
I’m a huge fan of Dolly. She has given me a great deal of
pleasure over the last year. Animals certainly brighten up a house. They seem to make people a lot happier.
I went to my room and opened the bible. I’m currently reading
Leviticus. I’m on the part where the Lord sets dietary restrictions for
his chosen people. Did you know that Jews aren’t allowed to eat shellfish? That
would drive me crazy. I can’t imagine a life without shrimp, crabs, and
lobster. I’m so happy that most of my ancestors used to have a foreskin
back in the day. I simply wouldn’t have succeeded in ancient Israel. The locals
would’ve stoned me outside the gates of the city. Good for them. I probably
deserve it.
I watched Tucker Carlson Tonight on YouTube. Senile
Joe is now in the Ukraine trying to drum up support for the corrupt Zelenskyy
regime. We’re giving that little mafia boss another half a billion dollars in
tax-payer money. The very thought of it makes me want to puke. But what can we
actually do? Both the republicans and democrats love this war. They won’t be
happy until we’re all dead.
After that, I viewed another episode of Monster: The
Jeffrey Dahmer Story. Jeff is taking his gay lovers to bathhouses and slipping
drugs into their drinks. Then he molests them when they’re unconscious. Did you
know that Mr. Dahmer once got nabbed for assaulting a thirteen-year-old boy? The judge
gave him a year in the country jail under the work-release program. It baffles
the mind.
I went to bed at 10 p.m. and slept like the dead. Then I
woke up at 6 a.m. and walked to the bathroom. I proceeded to read the headlines
on my smartphone while taking a massive dump. The price of beer and soju is on
the rise in South Korea. This is a huge deal because all the men in this part
of the world love to drink. I’m expecting riots any day now. I shit you not.
levatacus is totally on point. check out mizz hayes exegeting about the whole bizness
ReplyDeletehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iJ5qYM24vUA&t=1302s
back in episode 9, she splained about how come the 'brews were a buncha uppity hill people and so they wrote down all the things in a slam book about their neighbors and said that they were dirty dirty dirty.
the valley people were pig-eaters. and over the ridge, there was the coast people what ate the shell fishes. so none of that for us.
and the assholes up north had shrines on hilltops, so no shrines on hilltops for us. and if they got idles, than guess what we not have the idles in our tempels.
scarey stuff.
I'm a huge fan of the bible. It's a great read.
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