I woke up this morning at 4 a.m. in order to watch the World Cup match between Korea and Brazil. I live in Seoul, and I was very happy when the South American team pummeled their Asian opponents by the score of four to one. Why? I enjoy making fun of my Korean friends when their team loses. It brings me joy. I'm a real asshole that way.
My dog Dolly joined me on the chair. She's a wonderful little beast. Dolly is a cotton-white bichon frise with black eyes and a big pink tongue. I gave her a hug and scratched her ears. She reciprocated by licking me on the face. If anything ever happens to my puppy, I'll probably turn into a despondent vegetable. I wouldn't be able to handle it. I shit you not.
At 6 a.m., I called my mother using Facebook Messenger.
I said, "How are you feeling? Is everything OK?"
Mom had a stroke about six weeks ago. She's certainly more lucid than John Fetterman, the senator from Pennsylvania. But she still has the occasional foggy moment. Mom currently lives in Texas with my oldest son Nurse Ken. Ken is a twenty-one-year-old student who is studying to become an RN.
She nodded. "I'm doing all right. I called the insurance company, and they're sending a check to the shop so that I can get my car back."
The automobile in question is a Honda that was recently damaged in an accident. Some young punk and his mother smashed into it as they tooled around the parking lot of a local shopping mall. It appears that she was teaching her boy how to drive.
I said, "Is that mechanic still acting like a dick?"
She shook her head. "It's not the mechanic. It's the shop manager. He always gives me an attitude."
"You should hand all that stress to Nurse Ken. Make him deal with the situation."
"He's got enough on his plate. He's working and going to school at the same time. Besides, your son is too sassy. He doesn't know how to use finesse in a situation like this."
"Well, it's your funeral, old lady. One more stroke, and you're on your way to the Pearly Gates. Just saying."
She changed the subject. "Where's your wife?"
"She had to leave early today. She's taking some kind of test in one of the neighboring suburbs. She told me that she'll be on the subway for damn near an hour."
"And how's Rice-Boy Larry?"
"He's doing fine. He's sleeping in the other room as we speak. I'm giving him the day off school today. He's going to sit and watch the dog while his mom is gone."
"Sit and watch the dog? That's the craziest thing I ever heard. He needs an education."
"The school year is pretty much over for him. He's taken all his final exams, and now he's just watching movies."
She sighed heavily. "I forgot. Everything is backwards in your neck of the woods."
And Mom's right. Everything is a little different over here. Kids start school in March and finish in December. But I try not to force my western ways onto this society. After all, who am I to judge? Primary and secondary education in America has turned into a complete joke. A lot of the kids can't even add two plus two. It's downright embarrassing.
Later that morning, I read the headlines on my smartphone while enjoying a bathroom break. A soldier from the USA beat the hell out of a taxi driver in Seoul. However, he left his military ID in the back of the cab after assaulting the man. The victim is an older gentleman who is now displaying the symptoms of PTSD. He's too afraid to go back to work.
I left my apartment at 7:30 a.m. It was time to start another day of work. I always try to look on the bright side of life. I'm gainfully employed; I have healthy children; and I never go to bed hungry. Things could always be worse. At least I wasn't born in Djibouti.
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