Hereditary Is a Modern Classic

(I'm a huge fan of Hereditary.)

Yesterday, I got into a conversation with one of my students. He's currently in the 11th grade, and his dream is to become a doctor or an engineer. Koreans take their education pretty seriously.

He said, "Do you have a gift?"

I said, "Excuse me?"

"A gift. What do you you do well?"

I frowned and scratched my chin. "Back in the day, I was a pretty good paper boy. I made a killing with tips. But that was more than forty years ago."

"Come on. You must excel at something."

I thought hard for a moment or two. Then I snapped my fingers. "I got it!"

"Yeah?"

"I'm good at rating movies. I can instantly tell if a film is a future classic."

"Can you give an example?"

I nodded enthusiastically. "I sure can. Back when I was twelve years old, my father brought me to a drive-in theater. We watched Stanley Kubrick's The Shining. My dad thought it was garbage, and so did most of the critics at the time. But I knew that it would live on in the annals of history as a horror masterpiece. Have you seen The Shining?"

"No. It was before my day." 

I pointed my finger at him and smiled. "How about Hereditary? It's currently playing on Netflix. Hereditary is definitely a classic. People will be talking about it forever."

He shrugged his shoulders. "I haven't seen that, either. I'm too busy studying all the time."

"Maybe you should avoid it. The movie has a 19 rating in Korea. I don't want your parents getting angry and calling the school."

I got home later that day at 6 p.m. and watched the game between the Los Angeles Rams and the Las Vegas Raiders. Baker Mayfield recently got cut by the Carolina Panthers, and he's now the starting quarterback for the Rams. He won the contest single handedly with a last-minute touchdown pass. I jumped from my chair and squealed like a ditzy school girl. I'm a huge sports fan.

I went to bed at 10 p.m. and fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow. Then I got up the following morning at six and went to the bathroom. I read the headlines on my smartphone while taking a shit. A Korean woman was extradited to New Zealand for killing her daughter. The authorities found the child's body in a suitcase. It seems the woman went nuts after her husband--a native of New Zealand--died unexpectedly of a heart attack. She panicked and committed the murder before returning to her original homeland.

The Dragon Lady said, "You poop so stinky."

I said, "Well, it's fecal matter. It's supposed to smell."

"But it not da normal smell. It so gloss."

"It's probably because of all the eggs I'm consuming."

She sighed heavily. "You have so many plobrem. I not know why I mally you."

"Well, we tied the knot and now we have to live with it."

I walked into my room and turned on Fox News. Elon Musk--with the help of a famous journalist named Matt Taibbi--has exposed lots of progressive shenanigans over at Twitter. It seems that the libtards in charge of the company were shadow banning conservative users. But is anyone really surprised? Every social-media platform in America has a bias against the MAGA crowd. I'm sure that Wattpad and Medium (the platforms I am currently using) are no different. Yet I'm not too bothered. My wife hates me and my kids are fighting for their academic lives in school, so I have other fish to fry.